On Top of Cape Smokey

On Top of Cape Somkey
(Sung to the tune of “On Top of Spaghetti”)

On top of Cape Smokey, all covered with trees,
My poor little blue van let out a great wheeze.

Rolled around the corners, rolled right down the hill,
My poor little blue van, she wanted a thrill.

She flew down the mountain, and over the rocks,
My poor little blue van almost hit a fox.

Rolled into the water, but she didn’t swim like an otter,
My poor little blue van, she needed a hand.

My poor little blue van, I’m sorry to say,
My poor little blue van, is not here today.


Ok, so I’m sure all of us are familiar with the kids’ song “On Top of Spaghetti”. The version above is called “On Top of Cape Smokey”, by Carley and Candace Sampson. Let me better explain myself.

Before you all actually gasp in shock and horror thinking that my family rolled down a massive mountain and are still here today to tell the tale, let me just inform you that only the first two lines of that homemade song are true.

When my sisters and I were little, my parents loved to take us camping every summer. We owned one of those hard-top pop-up camper trailers that you hooked to the back of your vehicle, it had two beds and a mini kitchen; the table even turned into a bed. Convenient? I think so. That’s where we usually stuck Chloee (until she was too tall to fit, and I got stuck with the table bed). We adored that old thing; we couldn’t wait until summer rolled around so we could go camping. It would double as a play house in every other season.

I was six years old on this particular camping trip, and we were headed to a camp ground near the Cabot Trail in Cape Breton. To get there, we took the ultra scenic route, which meant tackling Cape Smokey. If you’ve never been, Cape Smokey is the extra-high peak that you drive all the way up and over to get to Ingonish by means of the Cabot Trail. On one side, there are sheer rocky cliffs leading to the sea below, and the drive up is so steep it feels like you are about to rocket into the ocean.

We had our old blue van jam packed with treats, games, camping supplies and my family of five; our camper trailer was being hauled behind us. Our family drives always consisted of my sisters and I belting out lyrics to annoying songs, loudly and obnoxiously counting yellow cars that passed, and playing I-Spy. This trip was no different. But in the midst of our aggravating facades, our old blue van started making noises that it definitely wasn’t supposed to be making. By this point we were almost peaking Cape Smokey.

So we stopped mid-haul and with the whole mountain being probably as steep as the Headwall at Wentworth, my dad had no choice but to stop on the jagged edge that was Cape Smokey.

My dad’s face fell as he got out of the van, trying not to anticipate what could possibly happen to his family, the old crappy van, and our beloved camper. While he was outside trying to fix the unfixable, my mom, terrified and perplexed, was glued to her seat. You could tell she was scared to get out of the van, but scared to stay in it. Chloee, who was three at the time, sat contently in the middle seat, probably taking a nap. Candace and I sat in the back seats; bouncing up and down singing our newly invented song. Mom’s eyes followed our every bounce, as if each one was pushing us closer to the edge of the cliff. We thought it was a big adventure; little did we know how serious the situation actually was.

But not to worry! Ron Sampson pulled through like always. After coming up with a temporary fix to a permanent problem, we were on our way, all fingers crossed and all children bouncing. Needless to say, that blue van never accompanied us on another world-wide adventure. We got a red van afterwards, but that’s a story for another time.

Our treacherous lesson learned, and a phrase still used within the Sampson family today: Once a Lemon, always a Lemon. (See below for definition of a Lemon)


lem·on, or [lem-uh n] if you will.

Your car may be a Lemon if:
It has a defect that "substantially" impairs its use, value or safety. Major things like not being able to go faster than 20 mph, your car not starting when it is hot (or cold) outside, brakes that don't work, not going into gear, trunks that won't stay shut, wobbly steering wheel, drivers seats that won't stay in place, or all above treachery may qualify your car as a Lemon.